Change your kid's diaper!

Lord knows I have been guilty of saying, "Let's wait until we get home" when Turtle and I are out and about and he has a wet diaper.  Poop is sort of another thing because, well, it stinks and causes embarrassment and turned heads and looks of scorn... But pee is just....

Wait... Hang on... we're having a turtle kissing battle...


Musical interlude...

And we're back.

So, I thought pee was just pee and it's just wet an inconvenient.  Now we cloth diaper at home, so we need to change him whenever he pees.  He feels it and lets us know he's wet.  But out and about in a disposable diaper, we kind of let it ride.

I mean, those things can hold 400-500 cc's of water, right?  That's like three average pee's per diaper.

And a recipe for an ammonia burn.  We've been dealing with them the last few days.  One drawback of the cloth diaper is that they hold ammonia even after you wash them.  Products like Funk Rock and Classic Rock detergent can eliminate that, but if you run out...?  Well.  Let's say his but has been very red and he's in a lot of pain.

"It's just a diaper rash," you say.   "Your child should tough it out and put on some butt creme."

Um... no.   Ammonia causes a chemical burn as it sits on your baby's very sensitive skin.  So, it's a BURN...  not just diaper rash.  You can see the blisters forming, it literally eats the skin.

So, we're doing all we can, trying to let him run around without a nappy to get air to it, using a little olive oil to sooth it.  But the new rule here, the lesson you should take away, is, change your kids diaper.   You wouldn't want to be sitting in your own pee, why would your kid?

For a wonderful little bit that goes into further detail, and something I stumbled on (yeah!) while looking up ammonia burns, go here. It's well written and extremely funny.

Protecting Turtle: Part Two - Failure or There Will Be Blood

My son is a screaming, dinosaur growling, constantly talking, drunk walking caveman who is not fully in control of his physicality or impulses.  Also known as a toddler.

Yesterday, at our little playground, Turtle was playing with some other kids and having a great time.  I had to steer the boys away from the two thorn bushes on the periphery of the park. 

I don't know whose idea it was to put thorn bushes in the park, but that person should be drawn and quartered.  Seriously.  Thorn bushes?  Next to a jungle gym?  Idiot.

At one point, the kids began playing with some small bushes in a corner, the kind with soft leaves that Turtle loves to bat around. 

I should mention that at this point, Turtle was a little tired.  I could see it in his eyes and in how he wobbled as he walked.

And then he fell... into the bush...

Blood. 

Yes, blood.

I freaked out.

Okay, not freaked out, but I grabbed him and carried him as calmly as I could to the stroller to see if I could clean him up.

And there on his cheek was the tiniest scrape made by one of the branches Turtle fell into.  And I guess my son is a bleeder. 

Within minutes it stopped and he was fine.  His body took over and he soothed himself in his way, thumb in mouth and hand caressing his eyebrow, and he soon fell asleep... just long enough for dad to wander through the Harley Davidson shop before hitting the grocery store.

This was our first major scrape.  We've had a dislocation and bumps on the head, some falls and some knocks, but this was our first experience with blood.  And although I wasn't able to protect him from it initially, the lesson learned is that any bump or scrape can be fixed and unless it's major, nothing is major.   A scrape on the face is okay.  He'll be fine.

Besides, chicks dig scars.

Protecting Turtle

Had to stare down a four year old yesterday.  She kept offering Turtle a toy then taking it and running away, yelling at him. 

She then screamed out, "He keeps taking my toy!" 

I told her, firmly but kindly, "No.  You keep teasing him with it, following him around and holding it out for him to touch and then pulling it back from him.  It's not the same thing.  You're four.  He's not even two yet.  He doesn't understand, but you do and you should know better."

She tried it one more time, this time pushing Turtle, which prompted a "Back off, kid.  Go away." from big papa.

Her parent(s) were nowhere to be found.  Not surprised.

Welcome to the jungle...

waking up with out Turtle.

Me, the Arch, the actual courthouse from the Scopes-Monkey trial AND the 99% Occupy St. Louis. 

I'm on a writing trip to St. Louis.  I know that may be one of the strangest sentences I've ever written.  I'm on a writing trip to St. Louis.  But, since that is where our little film, www.cowboysvsindians.com, takes place, it actually makes sense.

I'm staying with my friend and partner at his childhood home with the Dr.'s Manepalli, his aunt and his grandparents.  The first night here I was treated to a lovely home made Indian meal made by his grandmother.  As anyone knows, meals made by grandma are perhaps the best thing in the world.  I know if I could have either of my grandmothers living in their own apartment in my home and making the occasional meal, I would.

So, Indian cuisine and game 5 of the NLCS with the St. Louis Cardinals beating the Milwaukee Brewers.  (Another sentence I never thought I'd write.)

But this morning something was missing.  I was without my little man.  I didn't have a small creature screaming, "Da!" in my ear.  I didn't get a Sesame Street book shoved into my chest from this three foot creature standing next to me.

(yes, he's 19 months and three feet tall... half my size.)

And I missed it.  I have been away from him before, but this is the first time I've been away from him and not surrounded by actors and writers.  I'm with a family.  And it's made this a tougher trip.

We can only control what we can control

This may be the toughest blog to title.  I know the one I came up with is cliche, but bear with me. 

Friday at the playground there was an incident.  A child, age two, collapsed and went into a seizure.  Another parent noticed what was happening across the playground and we all gathered with our kids.  I watched the FDNY roll up - a ladder company, one ambulance and one black and white. 

(I don't know why we still call them black and whites... they're just white... and the letters, NYPD are actually blue...  and they're now American made muscle cars, not the old played out Ford Crown Victoria... no... NYPD drives Dodge Chargers.   Yeah... bitchin.)

So, we gathered with our kids and watched as the ever so capable folks of the FDNY and FDNY Paramedics took care of this child.  Care is the operative word.  Watching a rather large fireman gather up the child, putting him on his side in the fetal position and covering him with a blanket, I was reminded of one of the things about being a fireman I would NOT enjoy:  trying to save a child and not succeeding.  There were several young women hovering with cell phones.  The toddler was at a day care center and it looked like the staff handled it all very well.  I'm sure they were on the phone with frantic parents, keeping them abreast of their child's situation.

One of the parents mentioned that the FDNY seemed to take a while, especially for a child.  He was amazed it took about 12 minutes for them to get there.  A mother, who is also a production manager for a theater, brought us back to reality.  "The day care lady was on the phone with 911 the entire time and I'm they were on top of it."

I have to admit I don't know how long it took, but I never noticed that anything was happening in the first place.  The first I noticed was when the parent pointed out that the FDNY had arrived. 

I walked over, following Turtle who was drawn to the firemen.  He ran/trotted/waddled/drunken ninja walked over toward the jungle gym.  He tripped.  He tapped his forehead against the metal post.  Hard.  He had a goose egg and cried a little.  But I couldn't help but be grateful that this little scrape was what we were dealing with, versus a(nother) trip to the emergency room.

The child was lifted carefully and put on a gurney.  The firemen raised a coat over him to shield him from the sun as the paramedics worked.  Into the ambulance they went and they were off to the hospital.  We went back to the business of play, parents chatting about what they would do in that situation. 

A little while later I scooped up Turtle, looking forward to a cup of joe at The Queens Kickshaw during his nap when I was confronted by something rather disturbing:  A parent, one who had just witnessed this rather traumatic event with another child across the playground, was wheeling her two children out of the park.  Her three year old, a rather shy and occasionally petulant boy, was seated and strapped into their little Maclaren stroller. 

Her nine month old daughter was seated on the sun shade. 

Yes.  You read it correctly, but if you think you didn't, I'll write it again.

Her nine month old daughter was seated on the sun shade. 

Nine months old.  Seated on the sun shade.  The flimsy piece of fabric held on by a piece of plastic that folds back.  Seated on it. 

All this worry about another child having a seizure - a medical condition that, while serious, is something we as parents have very little control over and then to put your own child in such a precarious position seemed insane.  Truly insane. 

Now, I'm not a crazy safety parent.  (See previous post on parent with helmet on child in tank-like swing.)  I'm raising a free range kid.  He can scrape his knees, fall down, bump his head on a metal post (ahem...), fall off the swing...  But I'm sure as heck not going to put him in a situation where he can hurt himself.  That's like setting him on top of the car and then just driving off because I loaded the car with cases of soda and cheese. 

BTW, if you aren't already, get CPR certified and certified in infant CPR.  We're going to.

Cloth diapering and a quick little plug.

If you are a new parent looking at cloth diapering, here's a great resource for all your questions, and some very funny posts as well.

http://allaboutclothdiapers.com/ http://allaboutclothdiapers.com/

We're been cloth diapering and it's not as big a pain in the ass as you'd think.  In fact, I'd say it's just as easy as using disposables.  And despite the upfront cost, it ends up saving you thousands of dollars over the life of your child.  If you have two, double that savings.   Three, triple it.  Four, quadruple.  Five... well... you're a braver man than I.

A couple products I would recommend.  (I have not received anything from these folks - no samples, no freebies, no payment... just used and like the products because they work.  I don't know why I shouldn't get some free swag or product now... I am plugging them.  Send free stuff!  I'll gladly use it!)

ROCKING GREEN SOAP

The biggest issue with cloth diapering is stink.  Holy God can they stink.  But the best way to combat that is to learn how to clean them properly.

Rocking Green is a great product, the Funk Rock soak for diapers is a godsend for ammonia.  Grab a couple bags.

A DIAPER SPRAYER

Issue number 2 in cloth diapering is... well, number 2.

What do you do with poop!?  As they get older it just gets bigger, wetter, firmer, more voluminous, and just plain old nasty.

Get the sprayer!   There are a lot of "reviews" on Amazon or places where you can buy the sprayer that were written by morons.  I'm not kidding.  These people are morons.  The #1 complaint by these people is "the sprayer sprays poo everywhere."

Yeah, dummy, if you stand holding the sprayer three feet from the diaper which you're dangling a foot above your toilet bowl. 

Get in there and get dirty!  You'll learn after one use how to do it.  You get your diaper down in the bowl, you hold the sprayer close and at an angle and you just spray off the poop.  Think spraying dishes in your sink, not spraying dog poop on your sidewalk and you get the idea.

We've used KUSHIES diapers, and BUMMIS.  (both are Canadian companies.)  Kushies are all in ones and bummis are inserts with covers.  Both are easy to use and work equally well.  It's all up to you.  (Oh, and the Kushies were hand me downs...  FREE!  You can pass them along, share the love.)

One bit of advice, get pants a size larger than your child would wear.  Cloth diapers give them a little bit of a g'donka donk.  Baby seriously has back in these things.  I have taken to putting Turtle in awesome baby gym shorts that are a size up and some baby legs.  (BABY LEGS ARE A MUST!  If you don't have some, get them, just because.  Turtle has taxi cab, firetruck, football, police car, pirate and of course his dress gray and black stripe baby legs.  We'd be lost without them.)  He's currently 18 months and we're in 3T shorts.  (Puma, Nike and Gap make awesome ones and we have a great little discount store that carries them for $5 each.  Win!)

If you are in the NYC area, you can take a cloth diapering class at Metro Minis where they'll teach you everything you need to know.

All you new parents should already be acquainted with them.  They are the store to hit if you are looking at being a fellow attachment parent.  They will also help you find a carrier that fits you.  (We are personally fond of the Mei Tai from BabyHawk over the Bjorn or the Ergo Baby becuase there is no adjustment that needs to be made, no clips, no clasps, no straps to adjust from mom to dad.  It's all done by knots and instantly snug when you put it on.  Big fan.  We also like the Dydimos wrap.)

Again... not getting any product endorsement stuff here, but I'd love some!

Just saying.

So, back to the cloth diapering.  If you're up for it, try it.  It's easier than you think and you don't have to do it 24 hours a day.  (Turtle sleeps in a disposable and wears them when he goes out.  Dad's pretty confident in his Stay At Home Dad-ness, but there's no way I'm carrying a poopy diaper in a ziploc bag around with me when we're out.  But at home.  You bet.)

Any thoughts or experiences or advice, please feel free to share here on on our facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/skinnedkneesinshortpants where you may like us, follow us and share in the conversation.

Or send me free swag.

The magic of New York City

There are people protesting downtown!

And although I agree with them and would love to join them, I have a little one who I want to keep safe.  I'll go down there when the white shirts stop swinging their nightsticks at people.

But we live in New York City and there's magic here.  Those protests are just a few miles downtown and they seem like they are a world away.  You would never know it was happening up here.

So on a quiet fall afternoon on a trip into Manhattan, we took a little break on Park Avenue.  Turtle got a chance to sit back and read.

And as much as we would love to be looking at our beloved mountains, the view was pretty remarkable.

We protest chickens being caged, why not kids?

I watched a parent at the park today take his child out of the stroller, a child probably 9 months in age, put said child into an infant swing, take out an infant helmet and put it on the child and then swing him.

A helmet.

Have you seen an infant swing? It's the safest place in the entire park. It's like putting your child into a tank.

I asked about the helmet, thinking maybe the child had an overly exposed soft spot before noticing the top was open. Dad said, "he could hit his head."

On what? He's in a full body swing.

I am a firm believer in free range kids.  Take off the helmet, let your kid scrape his knees and back away a few steps.  Not every corner in your house needs to be covered in foam.  Keep your outlets covered and your pot handles pointed where they can't get to them and I'm sure your child will be fine.

The swings are pretty sturdy, trust me.

Beef Bourguignon, or How I Spent My Summer Hurricane

The nice thing about a hurricane is that you know pretty well in advance that it's coming. It's not like a Tornado that just decides to drop out of the sky, throw your belongings into the next county and bid you a good day. I have experienced three tornadoes. Two were far away, but I got to watch them drop. The third was spent in the shelter that is the Alabama Shakespeare Festival stage...

Shouldn't all shelters be theaters? What a nice idea.

Back to the hurricane.

Irene came for a visit. A couple days before I thought it might be a good idea to stock up on some things... supplies for a good batch of ice cream (see previous post) and something warm that I could cook all day and have lots of leftovers.

I am not a recipe kind of guy. Having grown up in a kitchen and spent many years working with food, I'm pretty good at faking it. (Reason #1 why it took a lot of work to learn to bake. There's no faking in baking... I just made that up. Genius.) So, I glanced at a few recipes and played with it a little and... well, let's just say it was a happy hurricane.

I know it's not hurricane season, but it's getting cooler and here's a great recipe to share with your family. Turtle loved it. The Missus did, too. My kid is pretty open and adventuresome when eating. At 18 months, he appreciates a good Beef Bourguignon.

So, here it is.

This recipe makes enough for 4. (Or two and a half with leftovers.)

Ingredients

 For the stew

2 pounds boneless stew beef, such as chuck or sirloin tip, cut into large chunks. I went with a good grass fed cut from a trusted butcher.

1 tablespoons pork fat or olive oil, plus more if needed.

You're only going to use the following veggies to flavor your stock and your meat. This is not the time to impress with your knife skills.

1 carrots, peeled and halved

1 onions, peeled and halved

2 cloves garlic, just crushed

1/8 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 bottle red wine

2 cups beef stock

1 bouquet garni (made from bay leaf, parsley stems, and thyme sprigs)

For the garnish

1/2 tablespoon olive oil, plus more if needed

3 to 4 slices bacon, cut into lardons

(Lardons are a French bacon. You can buy them cut into cubes or strips. I got some fantastic locally produced thick cut bacon, trimmed them into small strips and used half for this recipe and froze the other half to use in all kinds of dishes. Who doesn't like bacon. the way the French use it is amazing. Rather than downing five or six strips on a Sunday morning, they use a little in darn near everything. Brilliant.)

20 baby onions, peeled (this takes time and is a bit of a bugger, but totally worth it. Baby onions are also known as Cocktail Onions or Cipolline.)

12 ounces mushrooms

Directions

Remove the meat from the refrigerator and bring to room temperature, about 20 minutes. Do not skip this step.

Heat the oil in a large casserole. Working in batches, brown the stew meat well on all sides, removing as you go.

Don't toss all the meat in at once. You want to brown the meat, not steam it. Small batches. Brown it all the way around. Trust me.

When the meat is done, cook the carrots and onions in the same pot until tender and lightly golden. Add the garlic, and cook one minute. Add the flour and cook, stirring for 2 minutes. Toss it all into the crock pot. Pour over the wine and the stock. Add the bouquet garni. Put your browned meat in the pot, cover, and cook that sucker all day long, until your meat is very tender.

If you are using an enameled cast iron dutch oven or a pot that can go from stovetop to oven, or don't have a crock pot, pre-heat your oven to about 325 and do everything in just one pot. Put everything into the oven until your meat is very tender, about two hours.

While the meat cooks, prepare the garnish: Heat the oil, in a pan and brown the bacon, and remove.

Add the onions and cook until browned all over, remove. Finally, brown the mushrooms, and remove. Deglaze the pan with 1/2 cup water, reduce, and then pour over the garnish. Set aside.

When the meat is done, remove it from the pot. Strain the stock, discarding the vegetables. Pour the liquid back into a pot, and boil until thick enough to coat a spoon. Return the meat to the pan and add the garnish. Cover, and simmer until the onions are tender and the flavors have blended, 10 minutes. Adjust the seasonings. Serve.

Pair these with a good potatoes, some brussell sprouts sauteed in garlic or whatever veggie floats your boat and dig in.

A nice home made black tea ice cream and warm brownie is always a good way to end the meal.

Words, words, words

I am a man of words. 

I love words and have been known to use them often...

This is a polite way of saying I can talk your ear off.

But Turtle has been saying words.  Not just babbling, words.   I know by this point they should be able to say a certain number of words, but it's surprising nontheless.  He's done a variety of animal sounds for months, things that he and The Actor's Wife do during bath time.  Our favorite is the dinosaur and the dog.  We can't decide if the woof woof sound is the cute part, or how hard he works to get his face into the position to make the W sound. 

Turtle follows directions, he understands words:  he grabs his shoes when asked, he can understand what you ask of him and will have a response to it, he know all his body parts.

But today.

Today! 

Magic. 

He pointed to my eye and said, "Eye."  Then to my nose, "Nose"  Which he's said for a while, and it really sounds like "No, no, no, no..."  He pointed to my ear and said, "Eah."  He stuck his hand into my mouth and said, "tfffftffttff" which I can only assume means "teeth."  Then a very short time later he made a chomping clearing of the throat noise accompanied by the sign for cookies with both hands.  It was the noise cookie monster makes when he eats cookies. 

Turtle was clearly communicating.  And it blew my mind. 

Enroll your kids in the NYC Imagination Library!

We got this information from a friend and over the last few months Turtle has been getting books sent for free via the NYC Dept. of Education.  Socialism at work.  Yeah!

New York Parents, the information is below. 

The NYC Imagination Library is an initiative of the NYC Dept. of Education. The goal is to promote the development of emergent literacy and language skills that are important for every child's success in school by encouraging all NYC parents to read aloud to their children from birth until age five.

Just enroll your preschool child (age 0 to 5 yrs) in the NYC Imagination Library and a new, carefully selected, age-appropriate book will be mailed each month in your child's name directly to your home.  Books will begin arriving at your home six to eight weeks after your registration form has been received, and will continue every month until your child turns five.

Enroll at: www.nycimaginationlibrary.org

Your child will be eligible for this program as long as you live within the five boroughs of NYC.

A Sunday Project

On my way from the gym Saturday morning, I noticed a small white rocking chair in the window of our local Salvation Army.  I have been wanting to grab some kind of chair for our little man to sit in, but paying $75 bucks to Pottery Barn Kids for a tiny chair seemed a little much.

So I ran home, grabbed the wallet and made my way back to grab this ten dollar gem.

The name written on the back of the chair was a girl's... exactly the same as Turtle's sans one single letter.

It was a sign.

I brought it home with some books I grabbed for Turtle.  I put the chair on the floor and he immediately ran to it, grabbed it, moved it to a spot and climbed into it with a book.

Sunday morning, I grabbed sandpaper, a drill and new screws.  I sat on the curb, took the rocking legs off, sanded the chair, put some glue into the legs, reattached the rockers with brand new screws and wiped it down.  Tomorrow, I'll paint it while A.V. is putting him to sleep so it can dry all night, ready for him to sit in by Tuesday morning.

At the moment, it's in a corner with Elmo, Kermit, Roarie the Raptor and Jacques comfortably seated between it's now smooth and sanded arms.

Ice Cream

I am an avid maker of ice cream.

It all started with a trip to Berthillon in Paris.  If you are planning a trip to Paris I would suggest going to the Ille St. Louis and grabbing a glace at Berthillon.  (Go to the original on the main street.  First stop at the small shop across the street, just wide enough for a Smart Car, and have some samples of Foie Gras and Rillette.  Then grab a glace.  I highly recommend the ginger praline, but you can't go wrong.)

If you are not planning a trip to Paris, you now have an excuse.

Needless to say, I became obsessed with ice cream, and having Turtle reach an age when that might be a nice little treat, I wanted to make something he could eat, something pure, something with few ingredients that people have been making forever.  The kind of ice cream my parents would make in the backyard in Salt Lake City, Utah when I was a kid, pouring the rock salt into the machine, working the hand crank.

I have been working from David Lebovitz book, The Perfect Scoop.  His recipes are straightforward and easy.  It's ice cream the way it's always been made:  Philadelphia style with milk, cream, sugar and your flavoring, or the traditional French style with egg yolks added.  And the ice cream is wonderful.  His salted caramel is brilliant and I'm a huge fan of his Black Mission Fig Ice Cream.

I also own a copy of Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams at Home by Jeni Britton Bauer.  She may have the most brilliant and intriguing recipes I've ever seen.   We're anxious to try her Grape Hibiscus Frozen Yogurt, her Chamomile Chardonnay Ice Cream, Scarlet & Earl Grey Ice Cream, Kona Stout Ice Cream, Roasted Pumpkin 5-Spice Ice Cream, Young Gouda Ice Cream with Vodka-Plumped Cranberries, and a Bangkok Peanut Ice Cream that has the spicy notes of a good Pad Thai.

These flavors keep me up at night, mouth watering as I dream about their ice cold goodness.

The ingredients of her ice cream base keep me up at night, as well, but for an entirely different reason. Instead of making a custard with egg yolks, she uses cream cheese, cornstarch and corn syrup.

When I pick up a carton of ice cream, I rarely see a list of four or five ingredients.  It's typically a list of things I wouldn't chose to put into my body, let alone my child's body.   And by the time Turtle is ready for more than a taste of Dad's ice cream, I hope to have the skills to whip up a batch with ease.

It's the list of garbage on the back of ice cream cartons that led me to want to find a simpler, purer way of making ice cream.  Great ingredients, local organic milk, raw sugar, free range eggs...  Cornstarch and corn syrup are not on that list.

Now I should add here that Jeni uses milk and cream from local, small dairies, she finds the best ingredients, sourcing vanilla from Uganda and highlighting local, independent farmers and small purveyors of the most incredible chocolates.  She is sort of everything I aspire to be as a person who cooks and everything in a person whose business you want to support.  I kind of love her and want to go to Ohio just to visit her and spend a day in her kitchen...  I just have a personal dislike for corn syrup, cornstarch in my ice cream.  

This weekend I decided to try one of Jeni's recipes, just to see what the difference was in the respective ice cream bases.  We made a chocolate sauce with coffee, cocoa and chocolate.  Simple enough.  We then added cream cheese, which turned it into a thick chocolatey paste.  We made a cornstarch slurry, then we made the base of milk, cream, sugar and corn syrup.  It looked similar to the base of David Lebovitz simple ice cream base.  I added the cornstarch to thicken it.

I tasted it and it was definitely different.  It had a definite vanilla taste, although no vanilla had been added.  It also tasted like toasted marshmallows and caramel.  Again.  None of these ingredients had been added... only two tablespoons of corn syrup.

We added this to the chocolate cream cheese mix and chilled it.

This process took me nearly three times as long as just mixing milk, cream, sugar and the flavoring for the ice cream. It wasn't hugely labor intensive, just a lot of steps.

This morning we put it into our ice cream maker and the flavor was terrific, a wonderful blend of chocolate and coffee. It did seem to freeze and expand faster than the other bases, but in the end, it still had the same texture and consistency.  We froze it and there wasn't a noticeable difference in texture.

The taste blew my mind.

And now...  The decision comes down to what I want to feed my family.  I got into this ice cream game the same way I make most food decisions, I eat something pure, wholesome and fantastic, become obsessed about it, find out how to make it and work to perfect it.

Corn syrup, cornstarch and cream cheese were not on the list of preferred ingredients for my ice cream.  I'm going to stick to a basic base of milk, cream, and sugar.  I will steal her recipe ideas, however...  She's a flavor genius and while I prefer the Lebovitz base, she's got amazing flavors.  I guess my ice cream will be a hybrid, the best of both.

And I will eventually make a Bangkok Peanut Ice Cream that Turtle can eat.